Ruby Tuesday – Manners Maketh the Man – or Woman!

We went to a bit of a gathering the other evening – lots of people, kids and food. I was watching one young girl with equal degrees of fascination & horror as she climbed on tables (all four limbs) and seemed to be on a feeding frenzy – with the need to maul every bit of food she could reach!!

We don’t have kids – but I can’t judge one little bit. You should see the lack of manners our Siamese has!! I swear he would nick food off your fork as it travels from your plate to your mouth if he could!! (Put the same food in a cat bowl and say its for him and he will disdainfully walk away shaking each paw and give you a Look.)

This child triggered a memory of a story Ruby told me about when she was staying with her Aunty Mabel in Melbourne. Ruby was 9 years old – so we are talking about 1925.

Aunty Mabel took Young Ruby across town with her to go to an afternoon tea at her future sister in laws place. Apparently the whole tram trip over was one long lecture about how she was to behave, finishing off with the fervent instruction “And whatever happens – DON’T dip your biscuit in your tea!!!”

The ultimate disgrace!! I swing back to 2016 in my mind and try to think of a situation where you would be in disgrace for dipping your bikkie in your tea!! (Note to non-Australian readers – Biscuit=cookie)

Afternoon tea went well. The future sister in law also had a daughter the same age as Ruby. This young girl announced to Ruby that “I’m not allowed to dip my biscuit, but you are” Ruby realised that this girl had, had the same lecture before their arrival.

Young Ruby whispered back “I had better not” Present Day Ruby says she certainly didn’t want a lecture all the way back home again!!

A number of years later, when Ruby was nursing, she recalls an evening where she took a break – with that tea and biscuit – and a photographer happened to be about. Guess who was in the local newspaper dipping a biscuit in her tea?? Apparently the Hospital Matron was Not Impressed.

I guess every generation feels that the new generation lacks the discipline of the former one. Ruby’s mother kept a leather strop hanging by the fireside in the kitchen. Her hand only had to generally twitch in that general direction for the children to shape up. If things got really bad, she might actually take it down and bang it on the table. The sound was always enough to stop whatever shenanigans the siblings were up to. Ruby said they never got hit with the strop, but certainly felt their mothers hand on occasions with a spank on the bottom!

Men could work in the paddocks and swear if needed, but they never did (swear) in front of the women and children.  Communities were smaller and people relied on each other for support and business – that meant being respectful and behaving in a respectful manner to those about them. It made it easier for people to live comfortably in their environments with other community members.

Families would come to visit, the husbands would go out onto the farm for hours, the mothers would have tea and talk inside while the kids were given a bit of bread and jam and sent outside to play.

Children did a lot of entertaining of themselves outside. Ruby was describing some of the games they used to play – Black Pudding (which I knew as ring-a-ring-of-rosy) ball games, hide and seek and those such games.

I was surprised to learn that they didn’t play beach cricket! The reason?? Balls were too easily lost in the water! The little things we don’t think of, as now we would buy a bag of cheap tennis balls just for the occasion… a lost ball for Ruby and her sister and brothers meant no more ball games until a birthday or Christmas where you might be lucky to get another one! Broken or lost items had to be mended or you went without. It made them be very mindful of taking care of their things right from the start.

We live in a society were it is all too easy to replace lost/broken items without a thought – where in Ruby’s day, when you wore the elbows out on your cardigan, you didn’t throw it away and replace it. Nope. You took the sleeves off and reattached them on the opposite sides to start wearing out the other side!!

I can’t begin to tell you how much I would not do this. I may knit, but I have an allergy to sewing!! 😀

How how was discipline in your childhood? Strict? Lax? Smacks didn’t really bother me, but I hated being yelled at – I dissolved! One of my sisters, well… you could yell at her until you were blue in the face and she wouldn’t care! But a smack!! She couldn’t hack the pain! My smart mother dished out the punishment where it was effective!

Probably the most effective punishment we all agreed on over our afternoon of dipping biscuits in tea was depriving a child of a luxury or outing. All generations from Ruby to me agreed that it was the thing that worked very well when put to good use! (A holiday at my grandparents was cut extremely short because of my & my sisters appalling behaviour. We didn’t think Mum and Dad would follow through with their threat but they did!! We didn’t forget that ever!!!)(Although I am fairly certain it wasn’t my fault!) 😀

Hope your week has started fantastically

Cheers!